Jet Fuel Formula Episode 8: The Submarine Squirrel or 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea/Transcript
Narrator: 'Last time, you remember, Borris Badenov had captured Rocky and sent him adrift in a balloon. The balloon was struck by lightning and plummeted down toward the ocean thousands of feet below. As the balloon fell, the plucky squirrel managed to work his way out of the basket, and, spreading his arms and legs, began to glide toward the distant shore miles away. '''Rocky: '''Boy, I hope I can stretch my glide that far. '''Narrator: '''Unfortunately, at that moment, Rocky was being picked up by the radar antennas of the air defense headquarters. '''Radar Man: '''General Broadbeam, sir, we've spotted a flying object headed straight for us. '''General Broadbeam: '''What kind of object? '''Radar Man: '''Well, sir, it appears to be a squirrel. '''General Broadbeam: '''A what? '''Radar Man: '''Yes, sir. '''General Broadbeam: '''Hmm. Probably a secret missile we don't know about. Well, we can't take chances. Shoot it down! '''Narrator: '''And within seconds, batteries of weapons were leveled at Rocky and commenced fire. ''(BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) '''Rocky: '''Hokey smoke! They think I'm an enemy! ''(shouting) ''Hey, cut it out! I'm friendly! Look! I'm smiling! ''(to himself) ''Oh, if there were just some way I could tell them who I am. '''Narrator: '''Then, the brainy squirrel got an idea and began to fly in a special pattern. '''Radar Man: '''Look, General, the object is spelling something out. '''Narrator: '''Sure enough, the wily Rocky was using the smoke from the aye-keg burst to spell out letters, a kind of polka-dot sky-writing. '''Radar Man: '''What's it say, General? '''General Broadbeam: ''(reads) "U.S..." Cease firing! Don't harm a hair of his head! That is a U.S. Taxpayer! We need every one of them we can get! '''Narrator: '''So Rocky continued gliding toward the shore, this time, with an honor escort of jet planes. Meanwhile, at Boris's house, the spy was pretending to throw a party in honor of the moon men, complete with paper hats and noisemakers... ''(Gidney and Cloyd fire gunshots into the air) Narrator: 'While Bullwinkle worked in the room above. ''(Bullwinkle falls through the hole the gunshots made into the room below) 'Bullwinkle: '''Uh, mind if I join you? '''Narrator: '''In a corner of the room, Boris, who was really anxious to get rid of the moon men, was mixing up a bucket full of mickey finns. '''Bullwinkle: '''Oh, goody! Punch! '''Natasha: '''Boris, if Moose ever drinks that, he will be asleep for weeks! '''Boris: '''And we won't get formula from him. '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, here's looking up to your ancestors. '''Narrator: '''At that moment, Rocky and his escort were flying just a few hundred feet above the house. '''Rocky: '''I can make it now, fellas! Thanks a lot! '''Narrator: '''And the squirrel headed down for Boris's hideout. ''(cut to the house) 'Boris: '''Wait! Wait! A toast! '''Bullwinkle: '''Oh, sure. '''Boris: '''Gentlemen, the Queen. '''Bullwinkle: '''You said it. '''Boris: '''No, no! Now we must break glasses. '''Bullwinkle: '''But we ain't dropped the toast yet. '''Boris: '''In my country, you break glasses before you drink toast. '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, if you say so. But people must get pretty thirsty where you live. ''(Bullwinkle drops his glass, which breaks) 'Bullwinkle: '''Now, I'd like to give a toast. '''Boris: '''Of course. '''Bullwinkle: '''Uh, well, here's to crime. '''Boris: '''To uh, to crime? '''Narrator: '''Of course, that was a toast that Boris and Natasha had to drink. The results were immediate. ''(Natasha falls to the ground with a THUD!) '''Bullwinkle: '''Hey, she's gone to sleep! '''Boris: '''You fellas don't feel sleepy? '''Gidney: '''Nope. '''Boris: '''Not even little bitsy bit? '''Gidney: '''Nope. That punch sort of peps you up! '''Boris: ''(yawns) Nighty-night. ''(THUD!) 'Narrator: '''And Boris joined Natasha in deep slumber. '''Bullwinkle: '''Party droopers. '''Narrator: '''At that moment, Rocky appeared at the open window. '''Rocky: '''Bullwinkle! There you are! '''Bullwinkle: '''Where else? Hiya, Rocky! '''Rocky: '''Come on! We've gotta go back! Everybody's looking for you! '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, that's nice of them. Okay, let's go. '''Rocky: '''Come on, moon men! '''Narrator: '''Our friends started back, but just as they left the house, heavy hands fell on their shoulders, and a very official voice boomed... '''FBI Man: '''You are under arrest by order of the United States Government! '''Narrator: '''Our heroes under arrest? Whatever for? Be sure to see our next episode: ''"The Bars and Stripes Forever!"